訪談性護士 (中譯版)

原文 : http://www.vice.com/read/interview-with-a-volunteer-sex-nurse

Handicapped people get horny too. The problem is that even if they have a partner, the act of putting a wiener into a vagina and moving it around can be tricky when you lack certain motor skills. My friend Karl was the personal nurse for a severely disabled couple for about eight years. In addition to fulfilling his traditional nurse duties, he also helped them get seriously laid. 殘障朋友也會想要。問題在於他們即使有性伴侶要把陰莖塞入陰道本身也是一大挑戰，尤其是有肌肉運動機能障礙的朋友。我朋友卡爾連續看護了一對重度肢體障礙 的戀人八年。除了平常護士要做的事之外，他還要幫助他們辦房事。

Doug and Jen were a married couple, both of whom suffered from muscular dystrophy. Doug recently died of pneumonia, but Karl said reminiscing about the good times–like when Doug accidentally came on him–helped with the mourning process. What Karl did for them is one of the nicest and most selfless things I can think of. Karl is an angel. A manually assisted blowjob angel from heaven who I hope washes his hands a lot. 道格和珍是一隊患有肌肉萎縮的夫婦。道格最近死於肺炎，卡爾憶起那些美好時光，那些當道格突然像卡爾求助，幫忙那些需要「嗯恩阿阿」的那檔事。這是我所能 想到最無私的事了，卡爾就像個天使似的幫助他們口交──我希望這位天使有勤奮地洗手。

Vice: So you’re a sex nurse. 所以你是位性看護？

Karl: I’m a licensed vocational nurse and I worked for two patients with muscular dystrophy who were on ventilators, which is why they needed 24 hour nursing care. They were unable to move their limbs or pretty much anything whatsoever. So I basically did anything and everything for them. I cleaned them up, got them dressed, and put them into their wheelchairs. Once they were in their chairs they could drive themselves, but still, in the wheelchairs they could only move around; I was still their hands and their arms. 我是位有執照的職業互事，負責照顧兩位肌肉萎縮症的朋友，需要靠呼吸器生存的朋友，這也是為什麼他們需要24小時的全天看護。他們基本上四肢都無法動彈， 我以我基本上什麼都要幫他們做。我幫他們洗澡、穿西、坐上輪椅。一旦坐上輪椅他們就可以自行移動了，但是他們真的只能「移動」，需要手跟手臂的動作還是要 由我來幫他們完成。

How long were you helping that particular couple? 你已經幫助這對夫婦多久了？

Eight years. 八年

How did you find them? 你怎麼遇到他們的？

I was at a party talking with some girl who was also a nurse. She had a patient who was looking for nurses and I was trying to get a job. I started working with Doug when he was already engaged to Jen. They got married like six months later and moved in together. 我在一個社交場合中遇到一位女護士，她當時有一位病友在找看護，我當時也正在找工作。我於是開始照顧道格，他當時已經和珍訂婚了。大概六個月後之類的他們就結婚同居了。

So you weren’t just brought in to help with the fucking. You helped with other non-fucking related tasks? 所以你不是專門幫忙他們幹炮的，你是幫忙他們做幹炮以外的事？

Yeah that stuff was totally extracurricular. 對，那檔事完全是額外加碼送。

Did you know you would be helping someone give handjobs when you got hired? 你被僱用的時候知道你會幫忙打槍嗎？

At first it was Jen’s nurse who had been helping them out. When she was going to leave for a different job, she approached me and asked if I’d be cool doing it. So when she left the baton was passed to me. It’s funny, Doug and Jen had her scout me out. 一開始是珍的看護幫忙他們，可是當看護離職去找別的工作後，她跑來問我說我能不能接受幫忙打槍。所以她離開之後這樣的責任就交給我了。說來也蠻好笑的，道 格和珍還叫她幫我瞧他們比較爽的做愛姿勢。

I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of gnarly stuff being a nurse, where does helping two people bone rank? 我想你當護士應該看過不少噁爛的東西，那幫一對夫婦做愛噁心的地方在哪呢？

The sexual stuff is weird. The stuff you see in nursing school makes you feel prepared for the job, but they didn’t teach you how to help two people have sex. 整個都很怪。你在護專學的東西讓你以為你工作應該會完全沒問題，沒想到沒教到怎麼幫助兩個人做愛。

So tell me about the first time. Was it special? 告訴我你的第一次，很特別嗎？

The first time you just look at everything and try to figure out the mechanics of it all. For a while you are so busy thinking about how you are going to do it that you sort of forget about what you are doing. But once you get it all figured out and things begin to happen, you start thinking, “I can’t believe I’m doing this shit.” It’s crazy. 第一次你主要就是想辦法告清楚整個的進行方式。有的時候你太認真想著要怎麼做的時候就忘了看你自己在做什麼。當你都知道怎麼做之後，你就會突然發現，「天 啊我在幹嘛，太可怕了！」

Were you putting them in position? Were you putting it in? What were you doing? 你有幫他們瞧姿勢嗎？你有幫忙把那根放進那裡嗎？你當時在幹嘛？

Well they have this track above their bed with a lift attached to it that rolls on the track. Attached to the lift there’s a cloth and canvas sling with straps affixed with hooks. I would put the sling underneath Doug or Jen and lift them up using the lift. It was designed for nurses who are too weak to put them in their chairs. Doug and Jen figured out how to modify it so it works more or less like a sex swing. 這個嘛，他們床有有安裝小軌道上面有起重機可以在上面滾來滾去。起重機上面墊了一塊布，上面還有帆布做的固定用的類似安全帶的東西，尾端有扣環可以固定。 我都會把吊帶放在道格或珍的背下面，然後用起重機將他們舉起。起重機其實是給那些力氣不夠將他們放到輪椅上的看護們用的。總之，道格和珍知道要怎麼把這東 西改裝成比較像是性吊帶的東西。

Doug could move his fingers, so I would put Jen in the lift and lower her down on his hand so he could wiggle his finger. And then I would get this vibrator and like position it in his hand so that it was on the right spot for Jen. So I’d do stuff like that and then I could just leave the room so they could concentrate on whatever they were doing. But for stuff like handjobs, I had to wrap Jen’s hand around his dick and basically move it myself. Essentially I was just using her hand to jack him off. 道格當時手指還能動，所以我會把珍放在起重機上，然後把她降到他的手邊，讓他摳她逼。然後我會把電動假屌這類的東西放到道格手裡，這樣就會是在珍會爽的地 方。這些我做完之後就都會離開房間好讓他們專注辦事。但是像打槍一類的，我必須用手拉著珍的手放到道格的屌上，然後用我的手帶動她的手打飛機。所以基本上 我就是在用她的手幫他手淫。

Sorry to laugh. That’s insane. 不好意思我笑了，這真是太超過了！ I was wearing gloves. 我有戴手套。

Did helping them out ever turn you on? 那幫他們做愛會不會讓你也有點想要？

No, it never turned me on. I always tried to distance myself from what I was doing. 從來沒有。我都會想辦法讓自己置身事外。

Did you feel a lot of pressure to give a good handjob? 幫忙打槍會讓你壓力很大嗎？

Well, I mean, I wanted to give a good one because I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. I was lucky that Doug, as a disabled man, never got a lot of sexual stimulation. It’s not like he was masturbating and stuff his whole life, so he was always a premature ejaculator, which I was very thankful for. 痾…是說…我都會想辦法品質保證，這樣才能快快完事。我很幸運因為道格，因為肢障，所以沒接觸過很多性方面的刺激。所以他平常沒什麼辦法自己手淫，所以他都早洩，對我來說真是大幸。

What are some of the gnarlier things that have happened? 還有更噁心吧啦的事嗎？

I always wore gloves, but one time I wasn’t watching where I was aiming his dick and he came on my hand. Even though there was a glove there I still felt his cum land on my hand. It was one of the grossest things I felt in my time with them. 我都會帶手套，但是有一次我沒在看我把他的屌對準哪哩，結果他射在我手上。就算有手套我還時感覺得到他的洨滴在我手上。這大概是我在幫他服務的這段日子中最噁爛的事了。

Also, doing the whole blow job thing, I’d have to, like, grab Jen’s head and move it on his dick, which is just weird. Like grabbing a girl’s head and forcing it on a dick. It’s just weird and violent and felt really strange. And, because she has muscular dystrophy, she couldn’t really move her mouth. So as soon as he came, it would just run out of her mouth, down her cheek, and into her hair. Cleaning the cum out of her hair was a bitch. 另外還有，就是幫忙口交的時候，我必須要按著珍的頭然後幫她前前後後吸吮，整個感覺很怪。有點像硬抓著一個女生地頭逼她吸屌。整個很怪，很暴力，真的很怪。然後，因為珍有肢體障礙，所以她的嘴巴也不太能動，所以道格一射，洨都會從她嘴裡流出來，到她的臉頰和頭髮上。我還要幫她清頭髮裡的洨，靠。

Really you are like a saint though. The saint of blowjobs. 你真的是個小天使，吹喇吧洨舔使

He hired prostitutes, Craigslist type shit, so he did have some sexual experience. But with this, he was married. His wife loved him, you know. They were so lucky to find each other. It was a moving experience and something a lot of people told them they would never know. 道格有僱用妓女，那種會出現在Craigslist的分類廣告上的那種爛貨，所以他其實是有一些性經驗的。但是就算這樣，他還是結婚了。他老婆很愛他，你知道的。他們遇見彼此真是幸運。他們相遇是個感人的際遇，很多人都會告訴他們說他們永遠不可能遇到的那種感人際遇。

Did your work ever make its way into your personal life? 你的工作有干擾到你本身的活過嗎？

I don’t know. I mean, it would come out. Like with girlfriends, people I was dating, it would come out. But it never really interfered. 我也不知道耶，我是說，多多少少會在腦中浮現。比方說跟女朋友在一起，跟約會對象再一起的時候，那些畫面會閃過腦海，不過從來不曾真的干擾太大。

I heard Doug and Jen posed for some website too. 我聽說道格跟珍也有在拍照賣給幫某些網站是嗎？

It was gimpsgonewild.com. They’d sell picture sets and calendars, so they made a little bit of spare cash, not a lot. They sort of changed their mind after a while about the whole thing because people would go to the site and contact them to say “You guys are freaks!” At first they were like, “whatever,” but it got to them over time. 那個網站是gimpsgonewild.com (肢障朋友也瘋狂)。道格跟珍都會賣點照片集跟日曆，所以可以賺點零用金，不多就是了。他們後來大概不再這樣做了，因為有些人會上去那個網站聯絡他們，然後對他們說「你們這些怪胎」這類的話。起初他們態度有點就是「隨便啦」，可是時間久了對他們來說感覺越來越超過。

Do you get paid extra for the fucking? 你幫他們辦事有額外加薪嗎？

It’s included in my hourly rate. I always thought I should advertise and start my own little business. “Hey are you disabled? I’ll help you have sex!” 那個是算在我的時薪裡面，我一直在想我應該行銷自己創個業，「嘿，你殘障嗎？我來幫你做愛！」

Any other good stories? 有其他有趣的事要分享嗎？

They were going to get a visit from somebody in Housing and Urban Development because they were on government assistance. The guy was scheduled to come on one of their sex days. When the H.U.D guy came in he always checked the smoke detector and the oven. He never went back in the room. So Doug and Jen just went on having sex as scheduled. Of course, the guy winds up being new, so he walked into the room while I had them all set up. Jen was like “Oh hey,” but the guy just passed by and checked the window out. I don’t know what he thought he was seeing. I mean Jen was in the sling on Doug’s crotch. I was in such shock. 有一次美國政府住房及城市發展部門的人來拜訪他們，因為他們有領社會福利。該部門的仁兄剛好是在預定在他們幾個他們固定做愛的日子的其中一天。那位仁兄來的時候他都會檢查煙霧檢測器還有爐子，他從來沒有進房間。所以當時道格跟珍就照排定時間正在做愛，當然啦，結果當天來的是一位新人，所以我幫他們預備好做愛的時候他剛好就進房間。珍有點「喂，滾啦」那種感覺，不過那位新的仁兄就是快閃經過然後速速檢查門窗就出去。我不知道他瞄到的時候覺得我們在幹嘛，我是說，當時珍在性吊帶上，在道格的棒棒上，而我在無比驚嚇中。

So they could actually have intercourse? 所以他們是可以抽插的？

Yeah. I couldn’t leave the room for that. I had to move her back and forth on top of him. 對，但是我不能離開讓他們自己完事，我一定要推珍在道格身上前前後後移動才有辦法完成。

You said it went pretty quick. Did you ever try and get creative with positions? 你說過通常很快完事，那你有試過幫他們擺一些不一樣的體位嗎？

No, it was pretty much always her on top. He couldn’t really tolerate being in any position other than his back. For some reason–it probably has to do with the disease–Jennifer’s pussy is tight. Like totally small. Like it was always painful for her to have sex. And Doug wasn’t really that big. I’d say below average, actually. But for some reason she could take it in the ass like nothing. She tried toys and tried sticking them in her pussy and she could only take it vibrating on the outside. But for some reason you could shove the thing in her butt like nothing. It was like backwards. 沒有，幾乎都是珍在上面，因為道格沒有辦法承受不是背在下面的體位。某些緣故，可能跟急病有關吧，使得珍的機掰很緊，整個口很小，感覺做愛的時候她一定很痛。道格的尺寸也沒那麼大，我覺得應該算比平均短吧。但是基於某些理由，她可以肛交毫無感覺。她試過前面塞情趣用品，這樣可以在外面震動，有時候也可以塞在後面，就跟平常的到過來罷了。

So Karl could get off. Did Jen get off? 所以卡爾你也會想要，那珍會突然獸性大發嗎？

Yeah. I mean they were really sensitive. They could just talk dirty. He could just talk dirty and she’d get off from that. So one time I put them to bed and there was a new nurse and I was showing her the routine and got done putting them to bed. And they had this intercom system where they could call the nurses and be like “Hey” if they needed to be turned in the night or needed suctioning. So Doug and Jen just start doing this dirty talk and they didn’t know it was coming out over the intercom. Because the muscular dystrophy their mouths are always open and their tongues don’t really move the way ours do, so the language was kind of garbled. And they start doing this dirty talk, and the nurse is talking to me about nursing stuff but all I can hear in the background is Doug saying stuff like “Oh my god baby yeah,” and Jen is moaning like crazy. 會啊，他們都很敏感，也會講些有點色情的話。道格會說些煽情的話然後珍就蠢蠢欲動。有一次我把他們扶上床後來了個新的護士，我在跟她交代照顧他們要做的例行公事，然後我把他們扶上床。他們家有對講機用來跟護士講話，就他們從對講機說個「嘿」就可以告訴護士他們晚上需要人幫忙翻身或是需要抽吸。所以當道格和珍在淫言淫語的時候，他們不知道對講機是開著的。因為他們有肌肉萎縮症，嘴巴閉不起來，舌頭運動方式也跟我們不太一樣，所以他們說的話有點不清不楚斷斷續續。總之他們開始說腥羶色的話，護士正在跟我討論看護的事不過我只聽到背景音效有道格在說著「噢，天啊，寶貝，耶！」這種話，然後珍瘋狂淫叫。